Sunday, November 24, 2024
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My uncle Zizi was not only the brother of my Godmother, but he was also the uncle I was closest to. He had an incredible way of making time for me, often over a meal at a restaurant he’d discovered through NYT Cooking or one of the many other outlets he subscribed to. Zizi was a lifelong learner, always reading and educating himself across a wide range of politically diverse sources.
His ability to maintain a healthy skepticism about the world and government around him, while grounding his decisions in facts, was one of his defining traits. While his time in the DEA may have shaped this perspective, Zizi was ultimately someone who read widely and carefully sought out the details before forming an opinion—a quality I strive to emulate in my own life.
No matter where I was— away at college, visiting the DC area, or living in Hoboken—Zizi always made an effort to spend time with me. In 2017, we hiked across England, and this photo was taken by him while we were lost in the woods of Tewkesbury. (In 2008, he also got us lost in the dry summer heat of Tuscany…Zizi’s sense of direction wasn’t a strong suit). Alas, it never stopped him from seeking out new adventures.
There is one moment from our hike across England that perfectly captures the essence of who Zizi was—a kind, thoughtful, and faithful man. As we walked across a long, open field, I found myself venting to Zizi about my frustrations with the Catholic Church. I expressed how the pressure, the outdated rules, and the “Catholic guilt” were a turnoff and overwhelmed me in my daily life. I said, "Why should I feel guilty for things like not returning a bag of chips to the chip aisle? It’s an everyday struggle—to do the ‘right thing’ only because of a sense of guilt that hangs over me.” Zizi paused for a moment, then replied simply, “And what’s the opposite? Imagine what the world would be like if people didn’t ever feel guilty?” That one sentence was monumental. So simple, yet so profound. Zizi removed religion and simplified it. He went on to explain that while the Catholic church does guide individuals towards morally good actions to ultimately contribute to a better world, being a compassionate and respectful human isn’t tied to a singular faith. Zizi had a way of offering perspective that was unparalleled, and in that moment, his words left a lasting impact on me.
Though we all knew Zizi could be stubborn at times, he was also incredibly well-informed. He was well-read across a variety of political perspectives, well-traveled, and deeply thoughtful. Even when I disagreed with him, his words carried weight, and his ability to see the world from different angles always left me with something to think about. As I continue through life, I will strive to live by the same values that Zizi embodied—kindness, selflessness, and compassion for those we love. I will always cherish our memories together. I love and miss you Zizi! Keep an eye on us until we meet again. – Melissa
